You are a miracle. I hope someday you can understand and appreciate how very much your father and I wanted you. Your big brother can’t wait for you to come either. I hope the two of you will be able to be close one day. From that first moment I saw you on ultrasound and caught a glimpse of your little heart beating, I was in love. At the 11w ultrasound we watched you wiggling around, completely unable to stay still. Somehow I had already known that you were a wiggle worm – as if it was instinctual. I swear I’ve been feeling you move for some time now even though you are still very tiny. I think you are sending me signals, “I’m OK, Mom…”
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Letter to Justin
Sometimes I look at you and can’t believe that you are my child. It’s hard to remember that beautiful little baby who kept me up all night crying those first weeks. You have grown up so much. I swear you don’t learn one thing at a time; you wait until you can learn 20 new things to let everyone know. The depth of knowledge that you hold is superior to any 2-year-old I know. Not only are you intelligent, but you are sensitive and empathetic as well. Your gentleness amazes me.
Every day you do something different that amazes me and makes me want to hold you forever. Every day you show me what a beautiful little boy you’ve become and offer me a glimpse of the wonderful young man you will be. Every time you tell me, “I love you to the moon and back,” I want to take that memory and hold onto it forever.
Even now I wonder how much you will mature by your next birthday. Will I remember you as you are now? Never in my life have I wanted a better memory. I want to remember it all and I want to be able to tell you how very special you are to me, how you have changed my life forever, and how much better I am because of you.
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